In the landscape of digital marketing, there’s a fundamental problem with how the industry approaches people—as targets rather than as nuanced beings with unique meanings and experiences. The advertising system operates with a flawed logic: it obsessively gathers psychographic and behavioral data, throwing assumptions back at consumers with little understanding of what they truly want.
Platforms like Facebook and countless others have turned consumers into data objects, piecing together identities based on perceived likes, earnings, family status, and political leanings. These systems try to capture people in a web of made-up personas: "Dave is 38, married, likes Doctor Who, and supports Coventry FC.” And then, from this data stew, they conclude, “Because Dave likes Doctor Who, let’s sell him a new TV with a Doctor Who theme.” This approach ignores the reality that Dave’s world is far more complex than his browsing history and TV preferences.
So here’s the truth: all this information—no matter how immense—misses the core of what drives people to act. The algorithm's clumsy guesses and assumptions are as disconnected as the ads they generate. In fact, 98.81% of ads are ignored, and it’s no wonder. They’re aimed at “impressions” rather than impact.
Flip the Lens: Understanding What People Truly Want
Imagine for a moment if the object wasn’t the person, but instead the product. Imagine looking not at Sally’s age, income, or browsing history, but rather at what a specific product might mean to her. Instead of data points attempting to tell us who Sally is, we could explore the meaning of the object in her life—the why behind her choices.
Consider the humble pink umbrella. If we understand how Sally feels about this pink umbrella, we gain insights far more powerful than anything gleaned from her Amazon wishlist or Instagram likes. Perhaps she associates pink with nostalgia, recalling childhood memories with a mother who carried a similar one. Or maybe she hates pink, but loves high-end craftsmanship, seeking only a refined umbrella with a vintage wooden handle.
This shift—from profiling people to deeply understanding the emotional and symbolic role of products—allows us to connect with real meaning and resonance. It enables brands to become deeply relevant by embedding themselves within the language of an individual's unconscious, where real decisions are made.
The Science of Meaning: How Anchors Shape Decisions
Object-relationship theory tells us that each of us assigns meanings, or anchors, to the objects around us. These anchors are influenced by memories, personal values, social norms, and a lifetime of experiences. This is how the brain simplifies the world, and it's why understanding these anchors is essential for effective marketing. The brain, with its complex architecture, is always searching for patterns to automate, storing up millions of unconscious biases that drive decision-making.
These aren’t just anchors; they are the foundations of how we see, feel, and desire—or reject—products. When Kirk was five, his friend convinced him that Brussels sprouts were “bogies,” and this silly but unforgettable moment anchored a deep-rooted aversion. Anchors are the invisible variables in the equations of our lives, defining what we want, how we perceive it, and why we ultimately choose to engage—or not.
So, Would You Carry a Pink Umbrella?
Would you carry it to work, or would you only consider it if it matched your favorite shoes? Would you eat Brussels sprouts if they were made in a way that didn’t remind you of your five-year-old self? These seemingly simple choices arise from a lifetime of unconscious pattern-building that defines each object’s meaning for us.
These are the true variables of decision-making. They operate in the background, influencing everything from the food we eat to the brands we trust. And they aren’t shaped by fleeting trends or demographic data points. They’re shaped by the ongoing narrative each of us tells about ourselves.
Anchoring Relevance: How to Really Connect with Consumers
Brands that thrive in this paradigm understand that marketing isn’t about broadcasting messages but rather about matching meanings. Imagine if your ad didn’t just appear in front of Kirk randomly but connected with his actual needs and wants. Imagine knowing that he loves meticulously crafted objects and will buy only when convinced of an artisan process. If your umbrella ad connects with these anchors, it’s worth showing to him. Otherwise, it’s just another distraction.
In Dave’s case, the pink umbrella isn’t just a thing to buy—it’s part of a story he’s ready to engage with. He doesn’t need to know it’s the most popular item; he needs to see himself in it. He wants his imagination activated, his desire piqued. Understanding this about Dave enables you to create a marketing experience that makes him want to engage, building trust and desire rather than blindly pushing a product.
Sally, however, doesn’t need to be convinced with fancy stories or brand loyalty—she’s made her decision. All she wants is a weekend bag that meets her practical needs, with her preferred interior pockets. Knowing this, a marketer wouldn’t waste time convincing her on anything unrelated. Instead, they could connect directly with her desire, making her experience seamless, engaging, and immediately satisfying.
A Return to Real Relevance
This approach—connecting meaningfully with a person’s unique perceptions—isn't new. In the advertising golden age of the mid-20th century, brands sought to become relevant through authentic connections. Today, we have the privilege and the tools to do this in ways those pioneers could only dream of. By focusing on the object—on what it means to the consumer—we flip the equation from "How do we find the consumer?" to "How do we find the consumer meaningfully?"
Our success with over 50 brands, across industries from fashion to automotive to beauty, has shown us that relevance is the strongest strategy. When brands understand and respect the emotional anchors in their consumers’ lives, they generate engagement, loyalty, and growth that no number of demographic details or “impressions” can deliver. They are serving the truth—the deep desires, values, and perceptions that make us human.
So here’s the question: Will you continue targeting the surface of who people are, or will you delve into the depths of what your products mean to them? Will you settle for numbers and clicks, or will you invite your consumers to see themselves in your products?
The choice is simple: advertising that feels like noise, or marketing that feels like meaning.
